| Clayton Bailey Press 771445445655644 | |||
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SEE BIGFOOT PROOF! |
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| In 1971, inspired
by "Bigfoot" stories in his favorite tabloid magazine, the Weekly
World News, Clayton Bailey made a ceramic skeleton of an 8 foot humanoid,
and claimed that Dr. Gladstone, the eccentric scientist had discovered
proof of the existence of Bigfoot. His neighbors and friends helped him
discover the bigfoot skeleton, and dropping; in his backyard ,which was
handy, and it eliminated travel expenses. Seasonal mudslides on the nearby
hillside even eliminated the need to dig. According to press releases issued
by Dr. Gladstone, the skeleton represents a race of giant man-like creatures
that possess nature's perfect birth control device, the Triple Jointed
Penis. Gladstone explains, Human males have a single penile bone; whereas
Bigfoot has a triple-jointed bone that can make a "U" turn, and
deposit its sperm outside the female. This handy and efficient form of
birth control explains the rarity of Bigfoot today. The triple jointed
penis also suggests that Bigfoot was able to engage in athletic mating
practices without damaging the bone, and this inspired the creature's scientific
name, "Giganticus Erectus Robustus ". Analysis of the bones reveals
that they are made of thermally metamorphised mud;
much like the clay that Bailey uses in his studio.
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FINDING THE BIGFOOT DROPPING: |
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| This exhibit explains Dr. Gladstone's
approved method of Finding the Bigfoot Dropping, and shows the tools and
techniques he has devised especially for this purpose. The exhibit explains:
1- A generous amount of lubricant is squirted into the suspected dropping site (a patch of fur) with the Lubricant Injector . 2- When the dropping emerges, it is grasped with the Dropping Extractor Tongs, and carefully withdrawn. Another sign warns: "Try not to disturb the Bigfoot".
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"FINDING THE BIGFOOT DROPPING" - 1974 ceramic, on painted wood, fur, grease 24" X 36" X 12"
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COMPARATIVE ANATOMY |
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The Triple-Jointed Bigfoot Penis
is nature's perfect birth control device.
Human males have a single penile bone; whereas Bigfoot has a triple-jointed bone that can make a "U" turn, and deposit its sperm outside the female. This handy and efficient form of birth control explains the rarity of Bigfoot today. The triple jointed penis also suggests that Bigfoot was able to engage in athletic mating practices without damaging the bone, and this inspired the creature's scientific name, "Giganticus Erectus Robustus ". Peter Byrne, the former Director of the International Wildlife Conservation Society in Washington, D.C., commends Gladstone in 1975, saying; "Keep up with the good work. The world needs more people like you, and we are behind you 100%."
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